Today I wanted to share a lesson I learned from my parents, though one I learned late in life.
My parents separated when I was just 7 years old, and I lived with my mom and four siblings after that. Of course life was difficult for my mom as a single parent raising 5 children!
As the oldest, I took on a lot of responsibility at home early on, both because I loved it and because it needed to happen. Today I believe that early responsibility gave me the drive and skills that helped me succeed in my corporate career, move to another country, and be who I am today.
I do believe all things happen for a reason.
Yes, I was angry at age 14 or 15 for my dad not being there, for him not being in our lives. Finally, at age 30 I contacted him and reconciled with him. In that process, I realized that both my parents had given me a great gift of multiple lessons.
I didn’t realize how powerful this situation had been for me and how much it had positively impacted my life until I was 30 years old. Then I began to see how much I was able to accomplish because of the opportunity my parents gave me.
In addition to seeing the gift in that situation for me personally, I learned that you can love your children whether or not you are in their lives. I saw that you can be empowering your children one way or another, whether you interact with them or not, whether you are present or not.
Wherever and however you are, you are impacting and empowering your children to be the people they are.
I’m so grateful to my parents for their making the decisions they had to make when they were young. Yes, it led to an unusual childhood for me, one that I loved and have no regrets about today.
Another lesson I gleaned from this situation is that people always do their best. The best, that is, that they can do in that moment. My parents each did the best they could then, based on their circumstances. Today, they might have made different choices based on the wisdom they accrued since then (now they are in their 60s).
But I might not have turned out to be the person I am.
With these and other lessons, I’m learning to appreciate every situation in life, even the most challenging ones. Every experience, I know, brings me value.
To my parents: I love you and thank you both.
For you: How can you take this story and reconcile with an event or person in your life?
Are there lessons you can learn from your difficult experiences? Is there wisdom to be found that can make you stronger?
Every one of your experiences contribute to making you the person you were meant to be. Are you resisting those lessons or assimilating them?